


Your Midnight Fantasy

by Ocelot_l



Category: Channel Awesome, That Guy with the Glasses
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Phone Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 11:31:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocelot_l/pseuds/Ocelot_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cinema Snob has a secret job working as a phone-sex operator. One night, he gets a call from someone who sounds familiar...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Midnight Fantasy

Cinema Snob turned down the lights, set down a glass of water beside him, got comfortable in his favorite chair, and slipped the headset into place. It was time for another night of work, and not the kind that involved doing reviews of crappy exploitation movies.

While a love of good cinema and mockery of the bad were his passions, they alone weren’t enough to keep Snob in old bottles of Crystal Pepsi and black suits, so he’d been forced to turn to other avenues for a steady stream of income.

Normally Snob would scoff at the thought of doing something so crass as offering sexual favors over the phone, but he had long ago discovered that his voice seemed to have this wondrous effect on people. He could stimulate them without ever needing to lay a finger on them, but simply by describing all the deliciously naughty things he felt like doing to them. Once he’d even managed to bring someone to climax after whispering into his ear for several moments and the guy hadn’t even touched himself once.

Having this kind of power gave Snob a thrill he rarely got from yelling about shot-on-shitteo films, so he’d decided to put his vocal talents to good use and earn some money as well. He was able to work from home and never had to use his real name, so none of his colleagues had ever found out about his secret second job. That suited Snob just fine. He couldn’t even imagine the jokes they’d make if they learned about this.

After checking his laptop, Snob received a message from the call center telling him he already had a client waiting for him. Snob skimmed the details.

“Hmm. Male, requesting another male, seems interested in being with someone more dominant but not looking for rough shit. Prefers something more affectionate instead-I bet this one’s real fucking needy. First time caller, so most likely nervous. This shouldn’t take long.”

This was actually a relatively easy request for Snob. While he was used to talking to male and female callers, they often came to him for more aggressive play, and Snob happily obliged. He’d always had a bit of a sadistic streak to him, so he greatly enjoyed telling callers how he’d break out the whips and chains if they so desired.

Snob took a sip of water and cleared his throat as he prepared for the session. He couldn’t leave his customer waiting much longer, so he took a breath and connected to the call.

“This is your midnight fantasy,” Snob purred into the mouthpiece, his voice low and velvety smooth. He’d found this tone was most effective for putting new callers at ease. “How can I make your dreams come true?”

“Uh… I… uh…”

Snob couldn’t help grinning. It’d been a while since he’d had a caller who actually stuttered like that.

“Sir, there’s no reason to be nervous,” he continued. “I’m here to grant your every wish and cater to your deepest desires.” Snob lowered his tone even more, his voice practically a growl. “Please tell me what you need.”

“I-I need you to kiss me!” The response came in a choked whisper, as if the caller were afraid he’d be scolded for even suggesting such a thing. Snob stifled his chuckle and decided to ramp up his reassurances.

“I would love to kiss you. Where exactly would you like me to kiss?”

A slight hesitation.

“Everywhere.” 

“Everywhere it is. I bet your skin is delectable and soft as satin. I want nothing more than to rub it under my fingertips and kiss every bare inch. I want to feel you pressed close to my body. I want your warm, silky lips against mine as we hold each other close, my tongue exploring your mouth, my fingers tangled in your hair.”

“Oh… yes…” 

Moaning already. An excellent sign.

“That’s not all,” Snob continued, naturally taking the lead. “I want to kiss more of you. I want my mouth all over your body, tasting and sucking, running my tongue across your tender flesh.”

“I-I want that too!”

“I’m going to push you down onto the bed. I’ll peel off your shirt and cover your neck and chest with kisses. You’re going to writhe with every touch, needing to feel my mouth on more of your body. Your flesh will feel like it’s on fire, and only my lips can cool you down. I’ll kiss the length of your strong arms to your hands and taste your fingers, sucking them slowly, pulling them in and out of my mouth, until you feel like you can’t take it.”

The caller whimpered, and Snob felt a spark of arousal shoot through him. He wasn’t usually so affected by clients like this, but there was something special about this one. Something about the sound of his voice that intrigued Snob, but he didn’t quite know what.

“You love what I’m doing to your sexy body, don’t you?”

“U-uh-huh.”

“You can’t get enough. You want more of my mouth nipping at your neck, sucking on your nipples, licking down your belly until I reach the sensitive skin of your groin.”

“Yes, I want it!” His cries were getting louder, and somehow more familiar, but Snob was too focused on the stirring in his own groin to make anything of this. He shifted in his chair, rubbing against his hardening erection, and let out a hiss of arousal that made his voice sound breathless.

“N-now I’m going to pull down your pants and kiss your throbbing cock. You want nothing more than to feel my lips wrapped around it, my tongue slowly sliding up and down the shaft.”

“Fuck! Yes!”

“But first I want to play with you,” Snob teased, closing his eyes as the images swirled through his mind. “I’ll lick and nibble along your cock, bringing you so close to orgasm that you’re desperate. You need to feel my lips engulfing your cock, swallowing you deep, tasting how delicious you are.”

“I need it! Please! Please!”

Snob could never resist begging. He gasped and stroked his erection, his voice cracking slightly. 

“I-I’ll take you deep into my mouth and suck you until you can’t control yourself! You’re going to cum so fucking hard, and I’ll drink you dry!”

“Oh! Thank you!”

Snob groaned and shook his head a little. He was close now, so close.

“No, thank you! Thank you very much!”

“I-what?”

“I s-said thank you very much,” Snob repeated, his voice hitching in his throat. He was on the verge of orgasm, but his hand froze when he heard the caller speak his name.

“Snob… is that you?”

No longer a whisper, the voice was easily identifiable. Snob opened his eyes and stared straight ahead in shock.

“Phelous?” Oh. Oh God. “I can’t believe this is really you.”

“Wh-what are you doing? Why am I talking to you?”

“I work this job to make some extra cash,” Snob admitted, his face starting to burn red with embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he was actually talking to Phelous. He hadn’t even known Phelous was into men. Or how much he was in to them, based on how his cock was still erect and how much he ached for release.

“Oh. I didn’t know. I was just… I was…” 

Snob knew he wasn’t the only embarrassed person here so he quickly cut in.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Phelous. No one who calls here does. Part of the fun comes from keeping things mysterious.”  
There was a moment of silence.

“I think I should go.”

“Go? But we’re not done,” Snob said. He was somewhat surprised to have said this but continued nevertheless. “Don’t you want to… you know, finish?”

“What?” Phelous sounded uncertain. “Isn’t that too weird?”

“It doesn’t have to be. We can go back to disguising our voices and stop using names. Besides, you already paid for this session. You want to get your money’s worth, right?”

“Uh… yeah, I guess.”

He sounded reluctant, but Snob was a pro.

“Just close your eyes again and lose yourself in the words,” he instructed, voice low and husky once more. “Imagine this is the person of your dreams, whose only wish is to make you happy. I can do that for you. Just lay back and remember how it feels when I’m kissing you. I can’t get enough of your body. I crave everything about you, your lips, your skin, your cock.”

He heard Phelous groan softly and knew he was back on track. Snob didn’t really know why he’d protested so hard to keep Phelous on the line. He tried to justify it to himself, claiming that he never liked abandoning a job, no matter what job it was, and that he owed it to his customers to fulfill their desires at all costs. However, when he heard Phelous cry out as he came, and the sound allowed him to stroke himself to completion as well, Snob knew there was another reason, even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it just yet.  
Snob didn’t have any contact with Phelous until a month later. Everyone had gathered together for another Critic adventure, and Snob was surprised to learn that he and Phelous would be sharing a hotel room. Surprised, as well as a number of other emotions.

The second Snob walked into the room, Phelous tensed and went on guard. He did his best to avoid Snob’s gaze and answered any questions with brief nods or shakes of his head. Only after a few hours without any meaningful comments from the other man did he cautiously glance over at Snob, who was lying on his bed and flicking through the TV channels.

“God, why is there always shit on the middle of the afternoon?” Snob complained as he shut the television off with an annoyed sigh. 

“I guess they expect the people who are home at this time of day to entertain themselves,” Phelous replied with a shrug. Snob turned to meet his gaze, a playful smile on his lips.

“So, now you’re talking to me? I was starting to think you could only do that over the phone.”

Phelous’s face turned as red as his shirt.

“That’s not-I don’t want to talk about that,” he mumbled, staring so hard at the ground he looked like he wanted to burn a hole through the floor.

“Why not? You liked when I was talking that night, right? Or maybe it’s better if I talk like this,” he finished, using that low, smooth tone he reserved for special occasions. 

“I have to go.” Phelous bolted toward the door, but Snob leapt up and blocked the exit with his body.

“Wait, wait, I’m just kidding around,” Snob said, chuckling good-naturedly. Phelous glared at him, which ended up looking more adorable than threatening thanks to his crimson cheeks.

“It’s not funny, Snob. I swear to God, if you told anyone-”

“Oh right, and let them in on what I do in my spare time?” Snob said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t fucking think so.” Phelous seemed slightly relieved by this but his irritation remained intact.

“Look, can you just not bring it up again? I really don’t need a reminder of how goddamn pathetic I am this whole trip.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Snob replied, looking honestly surprised. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. Lots of people call those places, you know. You’re not really unique in that regard.”

Phelous stared at him, not amused.

“You know what I mean. You heard what I said… what I was asking for… that was pathetic.” His gaze fell to the floor again.

“What, you mean to have me kiss you?” Snob asked. “That’s actually one of the nicest requests I’ve gotten from a caller.” He smiled a little. “When I think about it, kissing you was the highlight of that shitty job last month. If you ever need a pick-me-up, you should think about calling in again, Phelous.”

Snob realized what he’d said when he noticed Phelous staring at him, jaw dropped. His cheeks started to burn and he turned, reaching for the doorknob.

“We should get going. We don’t want Critic chewing us out for being late.”

“Remember when you said to imagine I was talking to the person of my dreams?” Phelous’s voice was almost inaudible, but Snob heard it clearly. He froze, hand still on the knob, and nodded. “I didn't have to imagine. I was... already talking to him.” 

Snob turned back around, expecting to see a smirk on Phelous’s face, expecting this all to be revenge for his earlier teasing. Instead, he saw Phelous staring down at him, dead serious. Snob swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat, before reaching out to take Phelous’s hand in his own. He brushed his lips over the other man’s knuckles before smiling.

“Then who needs a phone? You’ve got your midnight fantasy in the flesh, Phelous. And I promise to do anything to make your dreams come true.”


End file.
